You might be pregnant if…
(12 week edition)
- Your boobs hurt for 2 weeks straight rather than 2 days…
- and then continue to hurt for the next 3 months.
- You get heartburn just looking at tomatoes.
- You cry because your husband wants to go to bed.
- You can’t possibly stand the taste, sight, or smell of anything poultry related.
- You lay in your bed at 4am spraying Febreeze because your husband made eggs on the other side of the house.
- You spend the whole day starving but then want nothing to do with food when its time to make dinner.
- All dreams resemble acid trips.
- You dry heave the moment the toothbrush hits your mouth each morning.
- All your shorts and pants suddenly have elastic waist bands.
- You eat a beet and only a beet for dinner.
- You haven’t gained any weight, but feel like you are exploding out of your scrubs.
- You can’t remember any of your passwords to anything.
- You suddenly have the skin of a 13 year old again but none of the old tricks work to clear it up.
- You’re about 8 weeks coffee sober.
- You wake up and start brainstorming when you could take a nap.
- You check all three pregnancy apps on your phone each day to compare which fruit/vegetable/toy the baby is at least 5 times a day.
- Time somehow moves at both the slowest and fastest rates possible.
- You eat carrots and dip for dinner.
- You have heartburn 6 hours after lunch.
- Your whole house stresses you out but you are too tired to do anything about it.
- Your already huge boobs are outgrowing your bras.
- You no longer like wearing scrubs to work because you are exploding out of yours.
- You have to take a glucose test not once, not twice, but three times and still can’t make it happen.
- Your nipples start to feel like they are trying to escape from your body. (more dinner than baby… )