You might be pregnant if…

(12 week edition)

  • Your boobs hurt for 2 weeks straight rather than 2 days…
  • and then continue to hurt for the next 3 months.
  • You get heartburn just looking at tomatoes.
  • You cry because your husband wants to go to bed.
  • You can’t possibly stand the taste, sight, or smell of anything poultry related.
  • You lay in your bed at 4am spraying Febreeze because your husband made eggs on the other side of the house.
  • You spend the whole day starving but then want nothing to do with food when its time to make dinner.
  • All dreams resemble acid trips.
  • You dry heave the moment the toothbrush hits your mouth each morning.
  • All your shorts and pants suddenly have elastic waist bands.
  • You eat a beet and only a beet for dinner.
  • You haven’t gained any weight, but feel like you are exploding out of your scrubs.
  • You can’t remember any of your passwords to anything.
  • You suddenly have the skin of a 13 year old again but none of the old tricks work to clear it up.
  • You’re about 8 weeks coffee sober.
  • You wake up and start brainstorming when you could take a nap.
  • You check all three pregnancy apps on your phone each day to compare which fruit/vegetable/toy the baby is at least 5 times a day.
  • Time somehow moves at both the slowest and fastest rates possible.
  • You eat carrots and dip for dinner.
  • You have heartburn 6 hours after lunch.
  • Your whole house stresses you out but you are too tired to do anything about it.
  • Your already huge boobs are outgrowing your bras.
  • You no longer like wearing scrubs to work because you are exploding out of yours.
  • You have to take a glucose test not once, not twice, but three times and still can’t make it happen.
  • Your nipples start to feel like they are trying to escape from your body.IMG_8720 (more dinner than baby… )

About theguildedblog

Anxious, Boisterous, Curvaceous, Discursive, Eccentric, Fickle, Gregarious, Histrionic, Improper, Jovial, Klutzy, Loyal, Mellifluous, Nebulous, Optimistic, Personable, Quirky, Raucous, Sassy, Tolerant, Understanding, Veracious, Wry, Xerotic, Yearning, Zesty Just tryin' to make it work y'all.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s